New Chapter

The train whistle screams. I'm staring out the window, watching the city shrink behind me. Your face flashes in my mind. That haunted look in your eyes, the way you avoided my gaze.

Still it echoes in my ears. You said you'd miss me. But did you really mean it? Or was it just something to say to make the goodbye easier?

The "buts" that threatened to tear us apart. Everything feels brittle, like delicate glass ornaments shattered on a concrete floor. I really want to believe in us. But with every relentless drop of rain, seeming to wash away the remnants of our promises. Just let me lose myself in the comforting scent of your skin for one more time.

You said we still had time to make it work. But the words tasted like ashes in my mouth. Because how can we when life is already pulling us apart? Every mile stretching between us will be a thousand tiny cuts, chipping away at the fragile thread that binds us.

I should feel thrilled to be starting this new chapter. But all I can feel is this suffocating dread. What if I forget how your laugh sounds? What if I fall in love with someone who isn't you? And what if years from now I look back on this moment and realize that this was the night I let go of the only love that ever truly mattered?

Maybe I'm being dramatic. That this is just a normal part of growing up. But the thought of not seeing you every day breaks my heart.

Tracing the outline of your name in the condensation on the window. Each shaky letter blurred from the tears that wouldn't stop falling. Baby, baby, baby... Only my mouth keeps saying it over and over against the silence, as if it could somehow conjure you back from the edges of my memory.